Whether you’re drinking Bud Light at the Samsung Galaxy stage, or checking your Samsung Galaxy phone at the Bud Light stage, Lollapalooza always offers the best in alternative-to-the-mainstream music, just like the festival has since the nineties!
School of Rock
Teach the kids how to mosh!
Napping during San Fermin will give you the most complex, vivid dreams possible.
Catching Temples will make you wonder if you’re still taking a nap, and if you are, that nap has now become an acid-drenched nightmare.
Perfect place for a post-acid come-down, Barnett will strum you to safety.
I’m a feminist, so I’m going to see this band based on their reputation for being women.
I’ve heard this gentleman is a terrific up-and-coming r&b experimenter, but I’ll just be there for the free blood orange cocktails they must be handing out.
This is the soundtrack to dancing like an idiot.
Have you ever been around someone who is annoying you by trying to sing along to a song that they don’t know the words to? That’s me during “Royals.”
This is the soundtrack to eating over-priced food.
The plan: get as close to the stage as possible, and yell Queens of the Stone Age song titles during the set’s quiet moments.
School of Rock
Check in on the kids, have they learned to mosh yet? Next step: crowd-surfing.
Jon Batiste and Stay Human
If ?uestlove of The Roots loves this guy, then so do I, because ?uestlove and I are exactly the same in every way.
Uh, hi Benjamin Booker, my name is Kenneth Preski. I have no idea who you are, but your name seems nice enough, and I’ve got some time to burn here.
Finally, an indie rock band from Brooklyn! So authentic.
This guy has cool music videos, and hopefully they will be played on the big screen while he fiddles with techno-gear and exhibits zero stage presence as a dance music producer.
Rich Homie Quan
Any law-abiding citizen knows that marijuana is illegal and will not attempt to bring it into the Lollapalooza grounds. This is the set where you go make friends with citizens who don’t abide by the law.
GO SEE NAS. I mean, at the House of Blues aftershow he’s playing with Vic Mensa.
OK, I’ll be honest with you here: Spoon is the best rock band in America right now whose popularity is owed to a soundtrack appearance on the hit television show “The OC.”
The only person in the park who will be able to out-irreverent myself this weekend is Andre 3000, who has had the courage to wear a “SOLD OUT” tag during reunion performances.
School of Rock
If the kids can’t mosh and crowd-surf by now, then simply demand a refund from whatever “school” this claims to be. I believe their final step to rockdom is when they OD on OJ.
Only attending this set to protest with a sign held-high proclaiming that “BEARS HAVE CLAWS NOT HANDS!” Animal rights are important.
Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue
Skipping ahead a few hours here because I assume I’ll have chained myself to a barricade, which will take some brass on my part. Hey, speaking of brass…
Run The Jewels
I thought “You Were Meant For Me” was a great song, so I’m happy to see that Jewel’s still around.
Judging by the band name, I can only assume that this is a group of psychic dentists.
Since Gambino’s latest is also a script, this is the perfect occasion for a live theater troupe to really stretch their legs.
Chance The Rapper
I like that this young man has such a clearly defined presentation, and so I will be attending this set as Kenneth The Listener.